See Muzungu (fill in the blank)

(One of these people is not like the others)

I don’t know if you remember the childhood classic “See Spot Run,” well I am starting to feel like that spotted dog who taught every child how to read. Because of my white skin I am quite a spectacle for anyone and everyone who sees me. They point, they laugh, they mock, especially the school children. My daily activities have become the makings of a new childhood book, “See Muzungu (Fill in the Blank).”

See Muzungu Wash Dishes-I visited a Suubi woman yesterday, and after we ate lunch I offered to help with her dishes. Since most guests do not do their own dishes, a crowd of neighbors gathered round to see me scrub the ins and outs of our plate wear.

(Come one, come all, see "The dishwashing Muzungu")

See Muzungu Carry A Jackfruit-I was walking back from the market with a jackfruit (a delicious local fruit) around the time the school kids were getting let out of school. I may not know their language, but I can tell mocking in any culture. Shouts of “Muzungu, Jackfruit” followed by snickering and pantomiming, made that pretty clear.

See Muzungu Dance-If there is ever a beat on the radio, I can’t help but shake my shoulders a little bit. Now anytime a Ugandan sees me shimmy a little to the left or right, they make me stand up and dance. “Muzungu Dance!”

See Muzungu Sit Like a Monkey in a zoo-A favorite activity they love watching me do, is a non-activity, just sitting on their front porches. I think this way the neighborhood kids can gawk all they want without any distractions. The bold kids will pet the hair on my arm (since Ugandans don’t have any hair on their extremities). The shyer kids will actually burst out crying because my smile is so terrifying.

Now I know how the animals feel in a zoo.